What Time To Arrive For A Visitation When There Is A Service

Last Updated on February x, 2022

In this article we are going to talk nearly visitations.

You have recently suffered the loss of a friend, associate or co-worker. You are planning to attend the funeral, but are likewise thinking about going to the visitation. But should you? And exactly what is a visitation? Is a visitation the same thing as a wake or viewing?

Let'southward answer these questions and more.

What is a visitation?

Question: What is a visitation and how does it differ from the funeral?

Answer: The visitation is an informal gathering usually held the evening before the funeral. You will sometimes hear information technology referred to equally a wake or viewing.

While you will sometimes hear this sort of gathering referred to as a wake or viewing, the visitation may not always take the body present, as is usually the case at the former. At a visitation, the accent is placed on the visit.

Read more than: What is a Wake?

This special outcome provides time and space for loved ones of the deceased to come up together – visit – in a relatively casual setting before the funeral. The funeral, on the other paw, is an organized gathering with the purpose of formally saying bye to someone who has died.

Both the visitation and the funeral may be held at either the funeral home or identify of worship. Many families still concur the visitation at a home. Sometimes they use decedent's home or a more convenient domicile of a family member.

Should I attend both the visitation and the funeral?

Question: Is it okay to attend both the visitation and the funeral?

Answer: Yes, yous tin can go to both the funeral and the visitation if you want to. Information technology doesn't matter if you knew the deceased well or were just an associate. The family will surely appreciate the support you show by being there.

What to say at a funeral visitation

Question: What should I say at a visitation?

Answer: If you lot've never met the family before, introduce yourself at some point during the evening. Feel free to share with them whatsoever fond memories you have of the person who has died. Hearing a new story or seeing a new photograph of a loved one tin can feel like getting an extra moment with them. Many mourners volition treasure the stories they hear about their loved ane at the visitation. This is i reason for the visitation in the first place. So know that anything you take to share volition be welcome.

However, do not experience similar you accept to brand chat with the family unit if the moment is more solemn, or if you lot are having trouble finding the correct words to say. Simply expressing that you are pitiful for their loss is just fine.

If you already know the family, it tin can still be difficult to know what to say. Hither is our best advice: Exist sensitive (think about what you lot say before yous say it), but say something.

(This advice is from a fantastic book called What Grieving People Wish Y'all Knew About What Really Helps (and What Really Hurts) past Nancy Guthrie. Highly recommended.)

One of the worst things that a grieving person faces is the void left by the death of someone they loved. Emptiness. Loneliness. When you see a person who has lost a loved one and y'all plow away, say nothing, or avoid talking about the huge gaping hole in their lives, you add your cold shoulder to that feeling of emptiness.

Instead, just say something. Say the decedent's name. Share a story or retentivity. Express your condolences and your own grief. It's even ok to say something as simple every bit, "I really don't know what to say. I'll miss Sharon too."

Read more: Funeral Etiquette: A Cursory Guide for What to Say & Practise

What happens at the upshot?

Question: What will happen during the visitation?

Answer: As mentioned above, the visitation is usually just that- a visit. Friends and family gather together to remember the deceased in a casual setting. Sometimes there is java or cookies bachelor, and besides a guest book to sign.

Because information technology is a visitation, the casket or urn may not be present, simply gear up yourself for the possibility (you are nether no obligation to view the remains if y'all are not comfortable doing then). A pastor or priest may give a short sermon towards the end of the gathering, or say a prayer or the Rosary (if the family unit is Catholic).

What is the difference between a visitation and a viewing or wake?

Question: Is a visitation the aforementioned thing every bit a wake or viewing?

Reply: Generally speaking, yeah. Visitations, wakes, and viewings are all informal gatherings before the funeral in which family and friends gather to socialize, mourn, and remember the life of a loved i.

But in that location are differences. Technically and traditionally, the principal deviation between a visitation and a wake or viewing is that the trunk is not present at a visitation.

Consider the words themselves. A visitation is a visit for family unit and friends…a special time set aside before the funeral to remember the deceased and visit with one another. The body or urn may or may non exist present (people aren't always precise most what they call it), but traditionally it is not.

In contrast, at a viewing , the emphasis is placed on doing simply that – viewing the casketed remains or urn, so yous can await for them to be present.

A wake , on the other hand, has its roots in Catholicism. It is like in construction to a viewing, simply more religious past nature. A priest may say the Rosary toward the stop of the Catholic wake (to learn more almost wakes, meet here).

Ultimately, many people use visitation, viewing, and wake interchangeably. Look the torso (open casket) at a viewing. A wake may be open or airtight catafalque, only the body will probably exist nowadays. And with the visitation, the trunk is typically not nowadays, only sometimes the terms are non used precisely.

Related: 10 Types of Funeral Services & Events

How long are you supposed to stay at a visitation?

Question: How long practise I need to stay?

Answer: It is advisable to spend at least 15 minutes at the visitation. This should give you enough fourth dimension to sign the guest volume, have a potable, and express your condolences to the family. You tin stay longer as you lot feel is appropriate.

If you are function of the family or very close to the family, you will most likely want to stay longer. Ask if you can come early to help prepare or stay late to clean upwardly. Catch up with family members and friends, partake in some refreshments, and share memories of your departed loved one.

Should I bring a sympathy gift ?

Question: Is it advisable to bring the family unit a gift?

Answer: Absolutely, only proceed in mind that no one is expecting you to. If yous want to bring a gift, consider ordering an organisation from a local florist. Basketed plants and flowers are usually given to a grieving family unit at a visitation, displayed the next day at the funeral, and and so finally delivered to the family's dwelling afterwards the service is over. So if you are planning on giving flowers, bring them to the visitation.

Here are x Heartwarming Sympathy Gifts that you can consider as alternatives to funeral flowers.

What is appropriate funeral visitation attire?

Question: How casual is it in terms of attire?

Answer: It tin can depend on the region or culture, but more often than not speaking, the visitation will be a bit less formal than the funeral. Think "church building wearing apparel" or even "business casual," and whatever comes to mind will probably be just right. When in dubiety, wearable dark!

Our guide on What to Wear to a Funeral includes helpful tips for men and women, plus a section on what to wear to a visitation (spoiler: you should wear pretty much the same affair you lot do at a funeral).

Attending a visitation from a different culture or religion

Question: I desire to nourish a friend's visitation, only their family is of a different culture and/or religion than am I. Should I yet go?

Answer: It is probably just fine, merely it really depends on the culture or religion in question to know what to expect. For further test of this question, please see the section on cultures and religion in our article Should I Attend Both the Wake and the Funeral?

Thank you for reading! If you are thinking about attending a visitation in the well-nigh future, we hope this Q&A provides you with insight as to what yous can expect at the service.

We welcome your questions, and our readers will benefit from hearing about your experiences with visitations. Delight feel free to comment below.

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